i want to change lives.

i want to change lives with someone else.

how was it last night, with no strings attached? was it everything you ever dreamed it would be?

random hearts

my oldest friend in the world is getting married. we were friends even before we were born. we haven't always been close, but have always had an easy friendship. we were once mistaken for twins when we were kids, even though he is blonde.

the first toll of the bell.

you may be the coldest person i know, but i am the cruelest by far.

random hearts that beat for each other, random hearts in a cruel cruel world. (p.s. it was that friend who gave me this song, how coincidentally these disparate thoughts collide)

its the bliss that's missing.

again, again

i chased an eagle ray on a single breath of air the other day, and it was better than flying. the silence, my estranged friend, met me once again. disco fish and other small wonders among the lettuce corals. what dreams are made of.

one evening i dreamed that rays shifted shapes with sharks and we were standing on the bridge of atlantis. you are still shifting shapes. it is a different grin each time we meet, sometimes soft sometimes sinister. i have an uneasy feeling that we are making enemies again.

it is beginning to sound like a record on repeat. it is beginning to feel the same. again again again. its not you. its not me. its both and nothing and everything at once. its this mindset. i am resenting this place.